Today, with enough God-given chilly breeze to blow away any lingering doubts, I am overcome with a new kind of joy. A new kind of peace has flooded in me, and I know I am being called to remain still as He fills me up to overflow.
I have a wonderful boyfriend. His name is Isaac, and he fears the Lord. We met while at Work Crew for Young Life in New York during the summer of 2013. Our story is funny, and I’m hoping it is one that I can share for the rest of my life. Anyway, the Lord uses Isaac in just about every way I can imagine to pull me off of my high horse and set me on the solid foundation that is Christ.
When I think of Isaac (I can’t lie, I don’t know if I ever stop thinking about him), I am reminded of promise and safety and hopeful strength. I never stop laughing when I am with him. He makes life enjoyable and fun. He reminds me that life is an adventure that is meant to be lived to the full. Such a blessing. And I hope and pray that all of my girl friends end up with someone that loves the Lord like Isaac does. Everyone deserves to be with someone who loves them because they are compelled and inspired by Christ.
But, I cannot bank on that. I am realizing for the millionth time this afternoon that these promises don’t ring true because people like Isaac are willing to ring out. The same goes for anything else that I treasure and consider good. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, remains except/without Jesus. It is enough to make me want to crumble up and fall to my knees. It is a strange kind of heartbreak to release everything but Jesus to Jesus. It is not a painful or lasting heartbreak (or maybe it is better labeled as heartache) simply because nothing is being lost. Nothing is being broken.
When we surrender everything (that we do not have ownership of in the first place) to God, peace floods into our hearts. Jesus can wash our feet, as He longs to. (John 13:1-7). The Holy Spirit will become more apparent in our lives. When God moves, we will not be able to just smile it off and say “Thank You”. We will have no choice but to fall down (however that might look) and worship. It is a beautiful, beautiful thing when Jesus invades and everything is placed into His hands.
I, along with so many others that I know and love, have been trying too desperately to run away from this truth. I can laugh now because it seems like such a hilarious concept to run away from the only lasting and good thing in existence. I want to make this year (sorry for the cliche, but I am beyond determined and am not planning on letting anything get in my way) entirely about Jesus. It is our purpose to do that, anyway. I want Him to intrude and invade and make my life His dwelling place. I want to walk into a room and make others uncomfortable because they don’t see me, they see something too large and wonderful to grasp. I want to throw all of the things I love, good and bad (including myself), into the willing and capable arms of Jesus.
I hope this has encouraged some of you to do the same. Jesus is waiting for us. The least we can do is wait for Him.
In light of all of this, here is the most recent song I recorded. It’s a Judah Lee song, set up to sound like wedding vows to our Creator. I hope it blesses you as well. Happy New Year!
-Rachel