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The Woodpecker’s Song

I think there is a beauty within irony that is easily avoided and ignored.

In every area of my life, I try to create songs. There is a lot of silent seeking done in order for me to be at peace with a melody that I discover, or words that weigh on my heart. I’ve noticed recently, though, as certain things cripple in my life and memories try to secure themselves in places where I have fought to rid them, the songs that I am able to sing are a bit ironic.
It’s instinctual for me to look at my life as I look at a song. There should always be a sweet melody, something to dance to, something to sing to, something appealing and enticing and right in every way. But life isn’t entirely like that.

Through recent attempts to paint better pictures of how the Lord and I converse, I began to realize that I’m not meant to be a certain melodic beauty that can captivate a heart or two. I can very clearly picture huge things being thrown at me, and I know I’m supposed to chop away at these things until I reach the core. There is a joy deep within the most ironic and seemingly twisted parts of life that Jesus has been showing me, and it comes from nowhere else.

When allowing my hands to communicate this on guitar, I fell short. I felt like there was something pulling me back, repeatedly. Much like the chopping that has been speaking for me, when I’ve lost words. And so, I’m left with the image of the woodpecker. It whistles no perfect little tune, but rather drums it into a tree again and again. I feel like God is crafting a lot of situations in which I’m supposed to sing like a woodpecker instead of some graceful bird.

Here are the words to the song (which is down below), since I’m kind of hard to understand in this recording. I hope the words I’ve written mean something to somebody.

The Woodpecker’s Song

There’s an old woodpecker
who gave his song to me
he told me to tear down the houses
but savor the trees

Now I come heavy and lonesome
with a ringing to cling to
it falls simple and sweet like the song
that was given to me

Hallowed, hollow but living
broken with golden seams
nothing is as it seems

So I tore down the houses
that held all my memories
to comfort the ache in my bones
the splintered wood of an oak tree

And when I hear knocking
there is no door to be locked
only leaves to be turning
and a woodpecker’s thoughts

Hallowed, hollow but living
broken with golden seams
nothing is as it seems

Hallowed, hollow but living
broken with golden seams
nothing is as it seems
painted so brilliantly

And when I’m failing to climb
and falling down has taken all my time
I let that old woodpecker chime
over me

– Rachel

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It is well…

God has been appearing in beautiful ways through almost every situation in my life recently. Or maybe I’m just now beginning to realize the beauty of His presence.

Anyway, here’s another song to fill up time while I’m finalizing things.
My strange and accidental version of It Is Well. (Bethel)

This song is kind of my current life song.
I’ve gone through a lot of different kinds of heart break over this past year- some of which I’m still battling to be at peace with. But through every step (and stumble) I’m falling deeply in love with God. And He’s showing me things so much greater than the heartbreak that still unrightfully haunts me.

I’m feeling like I need to share this short bit of testimony with you:

A while ago, I was in a gross place of bitterness and depression, and I was becoming so tired from fighting against it all that I was borderline giving up on everything, life included. On this particular weekend, there was a festival going on in my city and everyone was either out of reach or intoxicated. I didn’t fit into either category and ended up alone for the majority of the weekend. I took the time to take a hike and reflect on things, in attempt to hear from the Lord and be at peace with things. I couldn’t hear a single word from Him. Of course- that was by my doing. But at the time, it was monumentally frustrating. I wanted to feel important to someone. If I wasn’t important to God then, who in the world would ever view me as worth their time?

So I ended up crying my eyes out, which is a rare occasion in my life, in a parking lot somewhere unfamiliar because I was afraid that if I were to drive another minute, I would do something stupid. Next thing I know, I’m being honked out of the parking lot and yet again, am left with nothing. As my thoughts started to drift into dangerous places, a new thought kept coming into my mind. “What about what I have planned?” I was mad at this at first. Why would God make me suffer through times like this over and over again, just because He is planning something down the line that I can’t even see?

I had no right to be mad at God, but for some reason, it felt like He just wanted me to yell at Him. To let it out. To find some sort of peace. And He was telling me that His heart was broken too. His heart breaks over my heart being broken. His heart breaks over me being alone in scary places. So I went home and halfway destroyed my guitar and voice while the Lord showed me that I was totally wrong by thinking I wasn’t important to Him. And through this, He filled me with more peace than I have ever felt. I felt so calm and peaceful and heavy with promise that I had to admit that through all of the heartbreak and pain, it was well with my soul.

Not just my faulty heart, not just my sad mind… but my soul.

This song means a lot to me. I hope you guys can find peace through it, as well.

:-)

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Video / CA

Hello faithful friends. I really want you guys to watch this video before I say anything else:

Thank you Isaiah, Isaac, Willy and Marie- who made this cool little clip. We sat down this past Sunday evening with the intentions of playing two songs, and Marie just kind of bobbed around with the camera. We ended up getting lost in worship and losing track of time. I believe it was a little under an hour once we were finished up and the music piddled out. I think this sweet time with friends really gave me a taste of true freedom of worship and expression. I forgot where I was for a few moments and just felt the Lord really smiling over what we were doing.

This minute long video is really a sneak peek toward what I’m really going after with music. I want to involve as many people as possible, as many different music styles and voices, all in one place- learning to allow our hearts to encounter God while doing what we love most…. playing music.

I’m in Redding, CA right now, where I spent a big chunk of my childhood. I don’t think I have the right words (or enough words) to do this experience justice. I’m here for the Worship U on Campus, but so much more is happening. This isn’t an experience… this is a call back to my Father. A sweet encounter with my Creator. A meeting with the refreshing presence of the Holy Spirit. God is picking up my broken pieces and sewing me back together with golden thread.

I’m excited for more people to jump into this journey of revival with me. Well, revival seems like a big word- but I want no limits and I see no limits. I want to reach hearts. My heart is beating to a different rhythm that is so wonderful to dance to…. Maybe I just want people to dance with me. The Lord really loves when people recognize that the purpose of life is to be close to Him. Ah. Such a sweet thing. Such a precious place to dance.

Thank you for catching up with me! I’ll be posting more updates of songs in progress- I would really love feedback and tips of all kinds from all different perspectives. Love you guys.