I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. (Psalm 139:14)
I know that all things work together for the good of those who love You, to those who are called according to Your purpose. For whom You foreknew, You also predestined to be conformed to the image of Your Son, that He might be the firstborn among many. (Romans 8:28,29)
I am blown away almost every week by how many people tell me that they are praying for me and remembering my life. My thankfulness is beyond words. To those who pray for me and keep up with my life, here is something to be praying for: I have finally submitted to God’s will for my life and decided to pursue leading worship. (!!!!!) It’s incredible how overlooked His plans are. And His plans are the good ones! I am very excited to share this with you…
Since the end of November last year, I have been gradually losing my energy, becoming more depressed, and overall just settling in what the enemy has been trying to convince me of. I have definitely been spiraling downward. I’ve been so ill and weak that I ended up having to move back in with my parents, and I have seemed to lose all of the things that I once looked forward to. It has been a dark time.
But roughly over the past two months, I have been growing more and more unsatisfied with where I’ve been headed: a career in early childhood education. I always felt the need to make worship music plan b or c, because I was told by a few opinions that I value, “you just can’t rely on a career like that to have a stable life”…
Here’s the thing. Since I was fifteen years old, sitting in front of my computer with my little Luna guitar, playing until my fingers were raw and singing until my voice was lost, encountering Jesus and falling so madly in love with Him, I have been so sure that I will be provided for and that worship leading is my calling. Being so young, I have kept my mouth shut and let the world guide me into the life of an average Joe.
However, I am deciding right now that I will no longer be driven by doubt. There is a huge difference between seeking Godly counsel and listening to a few opinions that you respect. There is a huge difference between saying that God will provide and living to make way for His provisions. I will not live a life trying to feed my ego or the egos around me. I am living for my Savior, and if I have been given the ability to lead others into a place of worship, then (literally) by God I will do such thing.
So, I am in the process of applying to a worship school. I am sure as anything that this is where I am supposed to be… if not this year, then next. I hope that you will join me in prayer about this. While waiting and praying, here is a song that I recorded during finals week last December. It is very fitting :-)
My prayers are for you!
-Rachel